Stagnant Water

Putrid Stagnant Water

Putrid Stagnant Water

“Have faith that is like ceaselessly flowing water. Stagnant water becomes putrid because it stands still. The same is true of our lives: Not advancing is regressing”, said 2nd SGI President Toda.

I’m feeling stagnant. Kids, husband and work are fine—nothing distressing and nothing exciting happening at the moment. But I find myself pouring that glass of wine before evening Gongyo (evening Buddhist prayer) and then some nights blowing it off entirely. I recently started my own company and hired my first employee. Now is the time to challenge myself with work—but I seem to be in a just getting by pattern instead of making a push for new business. My kids are still at the age where I can suggest an activity that they might like. Still I find myself letting them hang out in their rooms rather than going for a hike or into The City to a museum. My husband and I spend too much time watching TV and drinking wine when we could be playing chess or making mad love at every chance we get. My water is stagnant and I’m not propelling myself into my mission (which I’m still trying to figure out). I’m clearly not advancing and so according to Toda I’m regressing. That feels true to me. If I stand in one place and watch the world go by I will be left behind. My company will never be as successful as I would like, my kids will grow up distant, and my husband will find a life more exciting if I continue this inaction. So the cure to stagnant water is to take action toward my happiness–first by doing regular Gongyo and then by challenging that lazy part of me that just wants to drink wine and hang out. I don’t want to live my life on cruise control. I want to inspire my kids and model happiness for them.

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