Dog Walk

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Jennie

On the hill behind my house there’s a patch of open space studded with Eucalyptus and Brume.  It overlooks our little tie-dyed town.  Today instead of taking a challengingly hot yoga class, I took the dog for a hike up the hill.  Wado dog looked very sad this afternoon curled up in a thin line of shade—being a dog can be so boring—so I couldn’t help but to call out the words Walk Wado Walk!  He ran up to me with not just his tail but his entire back end wagging, hardly looking like a 10 year old.  Along the way he lifted his leg until he ran dry and sniffed every other dog’s scent.  It’s easy to get up a steep hill when you stop to catch the whiff of dog sign every few feet.  As you go up, the houses get pricier and the yards look professionally kept.  When we were looking to buy a house my daughter had one single non negotiable request: Do not buy a house on a hill.  This seemed completely reasonable and made for a much better mortgage, so we bought at the base of a hill.  The family can hop on our bikes and ride into town without a climb, which I love.  Still I can enjoy the hill on days like today.  Just as you go into the open space there’s a clearing with a wide angle view. I was tempted to let Wado run off leash—but getting him back could prove to be nothing less than a giant nightmare.  He wasn’t aware of his fleeting chance of freedom and seemed perfectly content.  Just for fun I take a different way down.

on a hike with Wado Dog

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For Love of Sweat

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Jennie

OK so I have a weird relationship to sweat.  I’ve never been much of a sweater myself, having never had the opportunity to really get sweaty.  When I first met my husband I put on his drenched t-shirt after a dance class.  Yea I was loving that!  But 3 weeks ago I took my first Bikram yoga class and for the first time sweated profusely.  Let me explain real quick that Bikram is Hatha yoga done in a 105 plus degree room.  If the yoga doesn’t kick your butt, the heat will.  During class my eyes are blurred with drips.  I completely soak my towel every time.  My pores open up and cry. Afterwards I float home and am literally on a yoga high until bed.  I’m completely addicted to Bikram–I wish my schedule allowed for me to do it everyday.  It’s not just about the sweat.  I love really pushing myself to complete exhaustion–again something I’ve never done (except maybe in child birth.)  Even when I used to run I never went past my wall–I’d stop every time it got really hard.  The last 3 weeks I have been driving myself past all comfort zones into the tremendously challenging brink of…well…it feels sorta like you’re about to die.  But you don’t die.  You struggle through and stay in the hot room, stretching and twisting until at last you walk out feeling better than you ever have before.  There is a lesson there somewhere.

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Determined Prayer

Posted on July 15, 2011 by Jennie

Over the past few days I have been praying for someone to get a job. Buddhist prayer isn’t about asking or making a request. Buddhist prayer is about getting in sync with the rhythm of the universe and making something happen. Here’s a quote from Nichiren Diashonin who taught us how to pray writing, “I am praying that, no matter how troubled the times may become, the Lotus Sutra and the ten demon daughters will protect all of you, praying as earnestly as though to produce fire from damp wood, or to obtain water from parched ground.” I pray every morning and every night but how often do I pray with such fervent determination? Over the past few days I have prayed until I was absolutely sure that she would get the job beyond a shadow of a doubt. Needless to say–she got the job! Now if only I could pray like that all the time!

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Home Alone

Posted on June 22, 2011 by Jennie

I’m home alone for an entire week.  This hasn’t happened since before I was married with kids–even then I lived in a co-op and was rarely alone in the house.  After dropping the kids off (at 2 different airports–oh the things we do to get a little me time) I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I had grand plans of cleaning out a closet or two…maybe going shopping for some summer clothes.  Instead I lounged around and watched Hulu and enjoyed not cooking or doing any laundry.  I read a book for a book club.  Enjoyed some wine.  Also I chanted with a friend and took a Zumba class.  Working is keeping me off the streets and from going totally insane.  The thing is the house is too quiet.  It’s unnatural really.  There should be stomping up and down the stairs and at the very least a constant flow of questions about what’s for dinner and what activity we’re doing next.  And to make matters worse–because I know I’ll regret not enjoying myself–I got a postcard from my daughter at camp.  She’s been telling me lately that it embarrasses her when I call myself “Mommy” in front of other people.  A simple “Mom” is fine.  So I’ve been trying to accommodate this request, but the word just pops out of my mouth (more often that you’d think for an acceptable use of the word.)   So in the postcard she says that I can call myself “Mommy” anytime I want because she misses me so much.  It reduced me to tears.  I seriously don’t know what to do with myself.  I will probably start enjoying the stillness on Friday just before I pick her up.

JH6B6TN8EHHX

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Nuclear Disarmament Now!

Posted on June 13, 2011 by Jennie

To think that a nation possessing nuclear weapons will never be provoked to use them is a delusion.  The existence of weapons of mass destruction means the probability of human extinction or at least the end to life on Earth as we know it.  I want a better future for my children.  Here’s a quote I thought very poignant by the German philosopher Karl Jaspers, “We can enjoy the happiness of existence in the interim granted to us.  But it is a last respite.  Either we avert the deadly peril or prepare for the catastrophe…  Today we stand poised on the razor’s edge.  We have to choose to plunge into the abyss of man’s lostness, and the consequent extinction of all earthly life, or to take the leap to the authentic man and his boundless opportunities through self-transformation.”  We have the power through individual self transformation to change the course of history.  We can choose to fight for a future filled with hope or we can live in apathy and delusion and think that war and destruction will never happen to us.  I choose hope!

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Ignorance or Apathy

Posted on June 5, 2011 by Jennie

Let me start with a quote by David Krieger who is the President of the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation: “The issue of nuclear threat, whether by terrorists or government, like so many other critical issues, is surrounded by thick layers of ignorance and apathy.  To change the world, we must bring forth butterflies of hope from the cocoons of ignorance and apathy that surround them.  The best place to begin is with ourselves.  We must emerge from our own cocoons as positive agents of change.”

Ignorance and apathy play their part in my life for sure.  I feel cocooned enough in my Northern California home to leave the doors unlocked and rarely go anywhere I feel unsafe.  Am I ignorant of the predominate pain and suffering in the world?  Most days I am.  Apathetic to the plight of people living in the neighborhoods I specifically avoid?  Yes.  World peace and nuclear disarmament start with each of us waking up to the world (not just on a global level) around us–our surrounding communities.  The people who need our help the most might just be our neighbors.  Thinking of how I can become a positive agent of change…

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The Will to Kill

Posted on May 25, 2011 by Jennie

Violence is all over the headlines, home and abroad.  While it makes me sad, I struggle to understand the psychology behind it.  In Buddhism there is an idea of dependent origination which offers basically that we can not exist by ourselves. We are all dependent on each other.  Given that we have an intimate relationship with everyone and everything, it behooves us to live a life respecting all people and phenomena without which we would cease to exist.  I was struck by a quote tonight: “Shakyamuni was once asked the following question: ‘We are told that life is precious. And yet all people live by killing and eating other living beings. Which living beings may we kill and which living beings must we not kill?’ To this simple expression of doubt, Shakyamuni replied, ‘It is enough to kill the will to kill.'”  It is my hope that while killing my will to kill I inspire others to do the same.  Slowly and steadily a wave of respecful peace will cover the globe, awakening a sense of how important we all are to eachother.

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You are my reflection

Posted on May 22, 2011 by Jennie

In Buddhism there is a concept that the people around us reflect our state of life.  At a simple level it works out that when you smile at someone you are likely to receive a smile in return.  On a deeper level a person who is only after power will interpret the actions of others around him or her as a ploy even if they are innocent.  Likewise a person who thinks the best of people will regard everyone around him or her as having good intentions.  Why should I be surprised my work is being criticized if I am constantly critical of myself?  How can it be so hard to be patient when my 7 year old is having a melt down?  If everyone from the guy in front of me in the grocery store to the members of my family are a reflection of me then I have some tweaking of myself to do.  I would like to share a funny joke with the checkout lady or hear laughter more often at home.  The way that I transform myself is through the chanting meditation Nam Myho Renge Kyo.  This is another kind of Buddhist reflection.  I will continue to chant, revolutionizing myself and notice my reflection in the people around me smile and shine with joy.

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Reflections on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 9, 2011 by Jennie

Motherhood is all about influence.  Whether we are talking about creating a life in the womb or raising a child or inspiring a relationship once married; mothers shape us.  I’m adopted and have often felt gratitude over the choice of my birth mother to give me up.  Who would I be otherwise?  My biology accounts for a considerable portion of what makes me unique–granted–and for that I have my birth mother to thank.  However everything I know and conceptualize is inspired by my upbringing.  My mother, who raised me, has perhaps influenced me the greatest.  My sense of self I learned from watching her; my sense of humor I learned from listening to her laugh; my intuition I learned from her ability to know everything before I admit it.  I believe who I am is attributed in part to who my mother is.  Once I grew up and got married I learned about the influence of another mother, a mother-in-law.  It wasn’t immediate but my heart opened up to accept the love and influence of a new mother who I have come to love entirely.  As a daughter I have been changed by all my mothers.  I cannot imagine who I am today without their inspiration–even if only biological.  As I am a mother myself I often wonder how I am shaping the lives of my children.  Hopefully they will grow to know their potential.

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My Human Revolution

Posted on April 26, 2011 by Jennie

“Buddhism holds that everything is in a constant state of flux.  Thus the question is whether we are to accept change passively and be swept away by it or whether we are to take the lead and create positive changes on our own initiative.”  Daisaku Ikeda 1990. 

I often find myself swept away in life’s events.  Whether it’s the daily stuff like trying to get the kids out the door in the morning with missing shoes and half brushed hair, or finding myself with a huge pile of laundry and a broken washing machine.  One thing is for sure: we don’t know exactly what will manifest in our life from one moment to the next.  As a Buddhist I try and self reflect and make appropriate personal changes which assist me in those critical moments when I need to stay calm in the face of my daughter’s smirky behavior or when a work deal goes to awry.  In Buddhism we call this human revolution and the more we do it the better prepared we are for life’s surprises. 

Any kind of personal change is admirable.  In fact, it is one of the hardest things to accomplish.  If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or quit smoking you know how resistant even our bodies are to change.  We have to become the masters of our own minds and do what might feel uncomfortable at first.  As I do my human revolution and make those changes which will allow me to propel my life forward rather than simply reacting to whatever the day brings, I will blog.

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